As I wil probably keep reminding you, I went through a fairly normal, not that messy break-up earlier this year. And yes, like most girls, it's still one of my favourite things to talk about. It has rocked me pretty hard even though I was the one to initiate it, I still am emotionally wrapped up in this guy, and I know a part of me always will... Not because he was THE One (I don't believe in crap like that) but because as much as we try, our nature as human beings makes it near impossible to move forward. So I wallowed and indulged myself too much.
I remember talking with my ex's brother about the demise, and said the obligatory
"I'm sure eventually we will be able to friends"
Which was met by eyerolling and a pathetic 'are you seriously that naive?' stare, and in my defense, at the time, I did mean it. Of course seeing him with a new girl was not as easy for me as I expected, especially when they blatantly try to show me how happy they are by making out in front of me (and don't deny it, I'm not that dumb).I couldn't imagine anything worse than putting on a smile and pretending to be friends with him, when I clearly could care less. That said, I hate to admit I've had too many 'filling my bin with tissues', 'crying out in gut wrenching pain', 'eating too much chocolate', and 'plotting evil bitchy coversation' filled nights even though, like I said, it was my idea. Well this story will explain how all of that is history...
I was driving home from the city (which sadly takes longer than I would like) and had a good amount of solo music time ahead of me. What to choose. What to choose. OH MY GOODNESS I'VE GOT IT! One creepy side glance later and the sound of footsteps and female laughter blares through my speakers... "YO! I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I WANT, WHAT I REALLY REALLY WANT! SO TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT, WHAT YOU REALY REALLY WANT..." I'll tell you nothing turns a girl's day around faster than those two lines.
The Spice Girls, the epitome of women in the 90s, and yet their message is truly timeless. Be yourself (as loud and crazy as that might be) and have fun (any where and every where). It really put things back into perspective for me, I don't need anyone else to define my happiness and self worth for me, I can do that by myself, and if that means being cheesy and silly, SO BE IT!
After a good 40 mins of non stop 'Girl Power' I had come to the conclusion, that I am infact okay with my ex moving on with my supposed mortal enemy no matter how pretentious their raltionship may be... because they seem happy, and I KNOW I'm happy, and what I want, what I really really want is a zigazig ha!
