"Maybe he is just so excited I texted him that he tripped over walking down the street and bumped his head and now he's unconscious and in the hospital on a respirator... I should bake him some cookies!"

In talking to some of my girls lately (and reflecting on my own problamos) I think it's time to set a few things straight.

Why are boy-girl relations so HARD? I mean it should be the simplest thing in the world, and yet... (sigh) it never is. For some reason we send out these messages that are absolute lies in order to maintain the reputation of our respective sexes. Did you hear that? We lie. We all do it, because some where along the line we have heard that that's the game we must play. 

GIRLS

Say what you want! Why does a guy never make a move? BECAUSE HE DOESN'T REALISE YOU'RE INTERESTED. I have a few friends who are terrible at communicating their wants and desires. And funny enough, boys are the easiest people to talk to, it's honestly black and white. Tell them what you are thinking, and they will understand. Use simple and direct words. "I like you." "I've been thinking about you." If you're like me and a little bit on the crazy side, share it! I told a guy that I sat outside his house the other day. Okay so that was a lie too, it was more of a drive by, even though his house is clearly not on the way to anywhere. Sure, It's a bit out there, and might have scared him away... but the truth is, that's the kind of girl I am, I'm weird, and it's probably better he find that out now, rather than if he scrolled through my phone and saw the picture my friend took of my creeper ways.

Also if you want to text him, do it. Unless of course you have spent the last few weeks trying to convince everyone you're over him and moving on. If that's the sitch, don't get mad when I steal your phone and hide it from you. I'm helping you do what you said you want. If you wanted your phone so bad, you probably shouldn't have lied to me.

Try to remember that guys do not think like us girls. I'm not 100% on this but they don't keep their phones in their bras all day, so the reason they haven't replied yet isn't always just because they haven't seen your text. If you're like me and keep checking the message receipts every few seconds, STRESS LESS. Not everything that a guy does or doesn't do is a reflection on how interested he is. Then again, maybe it is, and you should just forget about ever talking to him ever again...

GUYS

Girls put so much effort into every little thing they say, and yes it still comes out sounding stupid every now and then. Please if you want clarification, ask. We speak a completely different language, it's surprising you even lasted this long.

Also a little tact goes a long way. Maybe don't always speak crass. Most girls have very delicate ears. I know for myself, even though I don't get offended by a lot, some things you say will still make me blush and giggle. I may never be able to say certain words, and I think that is a little endearing. I'm not saying I don't enjoy some innuendo, I love some back and forth. Just maybe pick a word that isn't so blunt.

Hey here's a thought. If you like a girl, don't just tell her, show her. Don't lead her along for months, talk about how interested you are, use her for your own pleasure and never give anything back. I guess what I'm saying is, follow through, and if you change your mind tell her so she can eat her ice-cream and move on.

Have any of you fellas out there heard the female anthem "Girls just wanna have fun"? It did not lie. Some of us just really want to have a bit of fun. Not all of us are looking to get married. We may all have our fantasies and day dreams, but honestly, I am so not ready to commit to that, and I know I'm not the only one. We want to hang out, we want to go fun places, we don't all think that means you are the one we are going to marry. The longer we get left alone, the more time we have to plan and pine, meaning that the longer you wait to ask us out, the quicker we jump at you because we might never get another chance. Sorry if this looks like we want you to put a ring on it. I can buy my own ring. I can't make out with myself. I might need you for that.

Let's go get lost anywhere in the USA

Having family in a foreign country can be interesting... On one hand it's a pilgrimage to see them, but I already mentioned this last time so I'll move on. I've been lucky enough to visit my brother and his family in Arizona before (this is my third time) and yet sadly I have yet to explore much further than the few blocks that comprise their neighbourhood. I find this is the case when visiting family in exotic locales. All our time is spent enjoying one another's company, which is awesome, however I feel like I've been going to Phoenix without ever having gone to Phoenix.

This time the game changed. Instead of chilling at their home (which by the way I'll be doing for the month of May) we drove a few hours north west to a small town called Pinetop. The drive alone was incredible. Anyone familiar with the Outback will understand how vast and empty the desert can be. Excuse me for saying, but that's Phoenix. It's a huge flat plain where nothing grows. It baffles me that so many people can live there when it seems nothing bigger than a prairie dog should be able to survive. Don't get me wrong, I do love Phoenix, the mountains are so rugged. It wasn't until we drove beyond the city limits however, that I saw just how beautiful the desert can be. That said, this idiot didn't bother to photograph anything so I can't share it with you. Just take my word, it's breathtaking.

But now onto business, THE SNOW! Oh my goodness, it was perfect. As an Australian skier I don't have a great standard of snow to base my comparison on, but oh my word, it was nice. Long wide runs, no one around, no wind, and sun shining all day. Did I mention fresh powder?! I've been skiing most of my life, it's an annual family vacation I truly relish and yet up until now I have never experienced powder. I had to reteach myself how to ski. I'm not complaining, it was lovely, just highly unusual when all you're used to are slopes of ice.

I also have a new found appreciation of the suffering of my father as he waited for his children to learn to ski. This trip we took my nephews; Thurston (5) and Atticus (4). Considering their age, they are good little skiers, that said it was painfully frustrating that they would continually snow-plow, even on the traverses (flat parts for non skiers), add to that their skies are so short and slow, and don't forget I'm one impatient I've-never-had-kids-so-I'm-so-not-patient. It was fun. I know they will be better than I could ever hope to be. My beanie goes off to all the parents, grandparents, and ski instructors who teach new skier/snowboarders.

All in all, this was a really fun weekend, despite sitting next to this guy screaming the whole road trip... But making up for that; I got to rap with my brother to the songs we used to cruise around with in my childhood... Warren G anyone?

I want to get away, I want to fly away

The last plane out of Sydney's almost gone...

Well it came, my waiting has paid off, and now I have three months to enjoy the sights and sounds of the indomitable United States of America. Unfortunately for us Aussies, this opportunity comes with a certain unavoidable trial. TRANSIT. With the US being a whopping 15,000 Kilometres away it's no wonder that my parents opted for a less direct path; a 24 hour layover in Honolulu, and I was not complaining.

We boarded our flight from Sydney at 9pm Tuesday 4th March. This is an awesome time to travel.  Not only did it mean we had all day to finalise packing, we also were ready to sleep as the plane took off. I was lucky enough to score a window seat which I promptly used to build my own little sleeping fort. My dad thinks I'm crazy; I always bring my own travel blanket and pillow. I know they provide these on long flights, but I'm sure you'll all agree the more pillows and blankets, the better your fort will be.

If you're not already aware, I'm quite the drug pusher, and on long flights, you have to be. My poor mum was wired the whole flight and barely slept, me on the other hand, with the aid of my handy dandy benodril, slept soundly nearly the whole way.

Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride

Hawaii. I've only ever been here for extended layovers but I will say this much. I can see why Adam Sandler films so many movies here. It is paradise. Of course there are other perks beside the lush greenery, sweeping ocean views, and the warm winters of the tropics. Being that this is a State, all the novelties of America can be found here, my favourite being a little indulgence of mine... American shopping! Old Navy and Ross being our drugs of choice. Needless to say Hawaii treated us well.

Another pleasant surprise was the overwhelming numbers of Japanese tourists. I know, I know, Sydney has Asian tourists too, but let me explain. I had the incredible pleasure of living in Japan a few years back. One of the hardest things I've ever had to do was coming home. Japan will always own a part of my heart. About the same time we landed in Honolulu, two Japanese flights also arrived so all the customs lines were filled with cute little Nihonjin. I was jazzed to be able to eavesdrop and hear a language I so desperately miss. I was even lucky enough to speak with the lady in front of me, mind you my Japanese was terrible, but it was fun all the same. It was also fun showing off to my parents how talented their daughter is, and reminding them that my time spent abroad wasn't a waste.

Give me a ticket for an aeroplane, ain't got time to take a fast train.

By this time, I was itching to reach Phoenix and see my Brother's family. It sucks that they live so far away, but it's nice to know that when ever we do get together, no time is wasted, it's like we've never been apart. This isn't always the case with my nephews (they're sometimes too young to remember that they love you right away) but nevertheless, I was over travelling just the same.

Moral of the story; I'm a long way from home.