The Sicko returns to the Hospital

Well the good news is this should be my last Sicko post for a while, and I'll try to keep this one short... (I can hear the groans of satisfaction) This trip was thankfully a lot shorter, only managing 27 hours.

It was a pretty routine thing, I was told to fast from midnight and show up at the hospital at 9:30. The pre surgery waiting bay was packed. Luckily my doctor was waiting for me on the other side, so I got to jump ahead of about 15 other people (suckers...) Also due to the crowds I had to walk myself into the surgery bay because all the beds were taken. It was an interesting experience, but not one I'd like to do again, I much prefer being knocked out before entering the room where they are about to cut my insides to ribbons...

I'm being dramatic, it was a really breezy operation, and I slept most of my anaesthetic off no problem. When I woke up I found all this food waiting for me. Finally I was able to make up for all the missed hospital means from the week before.

Actually truth be told, I barely touched most of that food, which ended up to be the right decision. Later that night I was FaceTiming my parents (who are currently over in Boston, thoroughly enjoying themselves without me) I felt super queasy. I could barely keep my head straight. I told them I had better go, I really didn't feel too good, and luckily I did. I just made it the four steps over to my sink before more food than I remember eating came up everywhere. I am so sorry Nurse Yannan.

More sleeping, as I was kept under puke watch. I was most scared that by hurling I had assured my self another night in the hospital. But no. After keeping down my breakfast (toast) I was told I would still be going home as scheduled.

Before I left my nurse, Yannan, had to change my dressings. She was even nice enough to take photos of me to share with you all.

As you can see, I only had 4 incisions. Through the one in my belly button the inserted a camera and a reverse vacuum hose which puffed up my stomach like a balloon. It still feels oddly squishy, and I am not afraid to admit I've been poking myself more than usual.

Over all, this hasn't been my worse recovery from an operation, it's kind of in the middle judging by pain and inconvenience, but considering that this could end some of my pain forever, how could I not have gone through with it.

Thank you again to everyone who has prayed for me, and expressed their love and concern during this last week and half, I couldn't have gotten through it all without you.

Until next time... (man that's a sinister way to end something; until next time... mwahahaha)

Resident Sicko goes to Hospital PART 4 And the winner is... GALLBLADDER!

Finally the waiting paid off! Last Thursday I was put through a gallbladder function test, which although it isn't all that difficult, it does require you to lie still for an hour at a time as they film what your gallbladder does. I'll admit, I fell asleep.

Usually this test (called a HIDA Scan) is two hours long. The first hour involves you just lying there as they use a low level nuclear power machine to watch what the gallbladder does without food to establish a baseline. The next part they give you a magic drink that activates the gallbladder so that the technician can see how it functions (releases bile to break down fats and oils). Luckily for me, I never made it to the second portion of the test, as finally an answer exhibited itself.

My gallbladder is small, abnormally small. Good, one less thing to add to the size of my tummy right? What it actually means is that at some point my gallbladder had a spack attack and died. I believe this happened back when I was in Japan on my mission. I remember being treated for terrible stomach pains, but no tests were ever done and it was assumed to have been Gastritis. Remember that mega cyst I talked about that burst nearly two years ago... well those toxins truly did a number as they got into my blood stream attacking anything and everything they came in contact with.

That means, I've probably been living with an inactive gallbladder for nearly two years, during which it has done nothing but cause pain, and now is causing damage to my liver. Sadly this also means that I need to go back to the hospital tomorrow morning to have it removed.

That said I'm in a pretty good place about it all. I know that the blessing Don gave me last Sunday has given me the strength to trust my doctors and know that they wouldn't do anything unless it was to help make me well again.

Actually, this whole experience has made me reflect back on those blessings I had from the Elders in Obihiro, Japan right before I was sent home. I was blessed that this ailment wouldn't last forever, I would be healed. I have struggled to have faith in that blessing as I haven't been healed yet. I thought it meant that I would be healed so that I could remain on my mission, and when that didn't happen, I got so angry that God wasn't fulfilling His word. Then I got angry at myself for not having the faith to be healed. I got it into my head that I wasn't good enough or worthy enough to receive that miracle. I wonder if that is why I can't get past it emotionally yet...

I know that God loves me. I know He cares about my pain. I also have learnt that He loves me enough to teach me. I may not understand those lessons, and I may not like the timeline, but that doesn't mean that He isn't preparing miracles for me. I am petrified for tomorrow, I really don't like hospitals, but I know my Heavenly Father will take care of me. I will never be left alone, that's not how His love works.

Resident Sicko goes to Hospital Part 3 Testing and Patience

Straight up anyone who has complained about hospital food should try being admitted for a digestive problem and see how they like the menu... Three words for you;

          CLEAR FLUIDS DIET

Another three words; NOT A FAN.

For the first three days of my incarceration I was feed nothing but consommé (chicken stick in hot water), jelly, and apple juice. Add to that the amount times I was 'nil by mouth' for my various tests, I was not a happy hospitaler.

That's not to say I spent the whole time moping and begrudging my lot, in fact for the first two days I was happy to comply with anything the doctors and nurses saw free to inflict, but no food and no answers makes Marley an angry boy.

I feel really bad about the way I acted on that third day, and I apologise for acting like a snarky brat, but by that point, I had been in continuous pain, I had fasted more times than a buddhist monk, and every test that was performed came back clear. There was no sign behind what was causing my pain.

I realise now that it was a miracle in itself that I was kept in the hospital for so long. I would have expected after the first test to be sent home with some pain killers and condescending smile, but for some reason I was blessed with a doctor that was just as interested in solving riddles as I am.

I'm ashamed to admit, that I used my female powers of persuasion and cried at everyone that day, and I'm sorry men, but if you stopped falling for it, we probably wouldn't play that card so often. You may think I should have held out for more, but that first breakfast was the greatest meal I have ever eaten. (I should have made an effort to make the picture nicer to look at, but honestly I'm surprised I waited long enough to photograph it. And it also bears witness to the level of boredom I reached, those blue hands in the background kept me very entertained, and provided a substitute for human contact.)


All in all, those few days spent waiting did bless me. I am terribly impatient and I needed to learn the art of watching cars pass on a freeway. I even was blessed to have my sister wash and blow dry my hair, which I very much grateful for. A hospital is not a place where one usually feels pretty, but I did that day. My spirits rose, and I know you may think I'm vain for saying that, but honestly I don't care. Any thing that helps you feel like a regular human being again is worth it. (...and the compliments I got also helped brighten my day)

Resident Sicko goes to Hospital PART 2 The Emergency Room

Now, where was I...? Oh yeah side-splitting, gut wrenching pain.

As you might have guessed, the pain was unrelenting. I barely slept at all that night, and I couldn't decide whether it hurt less lying out straight or curled up in a moaning ball. Come morning I knew I needed to get help.

By 8am I was admitted to the Emergency Room at Norwest Private Hospital. I had bemoaned hospital previously due to my distain of drips and cannulas, but because I hadn't been successful at drinking the previous day, I was severely dehydrated, and the first thing the nurses did was hook me up. Joy.

I shouldn't complain too much, the cannula meant that I could get the good stuff (morphine) in the quickest way possible, taking approximately 15 seconds to start working as it was injected straight into my blood stream.

I saw a doctor who concurred with my GP that it was most probably my gallbladder giving me a problem, and ordered an ultrasound right away. Now would be the time for me to tell you that I am awesome at hospital tests, I never fail, and this was no exception. The ultrasound did not show any problems with my gallbladder, great back to square one...

After more not so gentle prodding of my abdomen is was decided that we would focus on the stomach. Maybe I had Gastritis. I was given something to calm my stomach and stop my nausea, and don't forget more morphine... Drugs were my friend. I was also told I would be moving up to a ward to spend the night so the doctor could perform a Gastroscopy (a lovely test where they put you to sleep while they jam a camera down your throat to take photos of your stomach and bring back samples of the stomach tissue)

While I waited for a bed I was given a blessing from my brothers Don and Josh. It told me to have faith in my doctors and that at this time they would do what was necessary. I don't think anyone enjoys hospitals but they petrify me, they are a place of traumatic memories to say the least, but I knew I had to have faith, that God would protect me, and something would come of my time here.

I was taken up to twin room, and luckily scored the window bed. I was given more fluids, antibiotics through my drip, and morphine injections in my legs. Sunday night was better. I was grateful for the peaceful sleep the morphine gave me, even though that stupid drip in my arm made it hard to know what to do with my hands...

 I'm going to leave it there for the night, despite there being so much more to tell, I just don't want to bore you all in one go, better to spread the torture over a series of nights.

Until tomorrow...

 And I found this midnight morphine selfie on my phone when I woke up on Monday... 

I'm awesome.

Resident Sicko goes to the Hospital PART 1

This is a bit of long and involved story but it deserves to be told so I'll be doing it in instalments, enjoy?

I've never been what you might call healthy, throughout school it seems I spent more time at home than actually at school, and while sometimes I was guilty of over exaggerating my symptoms to get the day off, truth is, my body and I have had an on again off again type friendship. It truly was a miracle when at 21 I passed the necessary health checks required to serve a mission for my church. (In fact that is another whole epic in itself but I digress)

Serving a mission was always a dream of mine and honestly the only one I saw coming true, so you can understand just how ecstatic I was that my body was cooperating. Well, so I thought...

Three months into my mission I had a terrible pain in my lower abdomen, and doctors found a lovely 5cm cyst on my right ovary. I thought that was painful enough, but a few days later when it burst, I knew what pain really was. And it all goes downhill from here.

The toxins in that cyst spread through my body infecting everything it touched. I suffered illness after illness with barely a days break between. Anyone who is aware of the demands of a Latter-Day Saint (Mormon) Mission will understand just how demoralising it is missing a day of that uplifting work, and my sicknesses weren't just affecting me, but also the missionaries around me. I spent nearly half of my time in Japan, lying on a futon, not much use to anyone.

At this time I received some really beautiful blessings from the Elders I served with, blessing my body to overcome its ailments, that I would once again be able to do my Heavenly Father's work. That's why when it was decided that I needed to return to Australia to receive medical attention, I was devastated. Not only did I feel like I wasn't worthy of God's miracles, but the biggest dream of my life was over far too quickly. I remember walking out of customs barely able to see through my tears and I don't think I've really ever stopped crying.

The next months to a year were hard as I struggled mind, body, and spirit through trials I never saw coming. I went to doctor after doctor trying to find answers to my health conundrum but I'll talk more about that later, right now I want to focus on my most recent medical encounter.

So introduction over, I woke up early Saturday morning (I mean 5am early which for me is highly unbelievable) with a remarkably painful ache in my abdomen. Anyone aware of my usual symptoms will tell you this happens quite a lot, however this pain was localised to the upper right hand side of my abdomen, which isn't so usual. I tried to deal with it, but by 10am I couldn't take anymore. I went to my local doctor who seemed concerned, more concerned than I was, I though it might have just been wind pain.

That cyst that I talked about comes back into play now, I have a condition called PolyCystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) which kind of means I have a lot of cysts on my ovaries that cause me pain. Now I'll admit; I don't know a lot about it, but when I told my doctor about it she seemed worried that my pain might be caused by my gallbladder, because apparently they are connected, but like I said I really don't know. Any way she told me to wait 24 hours and if the nausea and pain hadn't turned into Gastro, I needed to get myself to an Emergency Room.

And that's the advice I'm going to give you, bear with me a day, and I'll have more on this tale tomorrow...

SPOILER ALERT: I ended up in the Emergency Room.

Best Hair Advice You Will Ever Get

So I'm no expert when it comes to hair, but I do have the advantage of older sisters, one who is a pretty kick ass hairdresser, so if I were you, I'd listen to the following tip.

CONDITIONER

"But I already use conditioner, that's not news to me, Marley, you must be on crack to think no one else has ever thought to use conditioner..." Look just indulge me for a second and keep reading.

Women everywhere are spending too much time, money, and effort to replicate that just got out of bed look. For women like me who live too far from the ocean, beachy waves everyday seem like an unachievable fantasy. Not to mention how grossed out I am when I think about all of the fish poop that sea water gets in my hair. Salt water makes my hair feel dry and brittle, and when you've used as much peroxide as I have, it's only a matter of time before your hair crumbles like dried out coral.

So, what if I told that recreating those gentle beachy waves can also mean nourishing your hair and reducing split ends? I'll say it again...

CONDITIONER!

("Okay Marley we get it, but you haven't told us anything.")

Quit your whining, conditioner is the ultimate curl enhancer. Just shampoo and condition your hair like normal. If you have temperamental kinky hair like me, don't brush it when you get out of the shower, instead dry your hair off a little with a towel, knotting that bad boy up. Now that your hair is partially dry the magic can happen.

Get a small pump of conditioner out of the bottle, not too much about the size of a 10c piece should suffice for mid length hair (for longer hair start with a small amount and add more as required, but be careful as too much product can make the hair heavy and less prone to bouncy waves). Rub a thin coating of the conditioner onto your opposite palm and scrunch that hair just like you would if you were using mousse.

"But I already use mousse, why should I make the change?"

BECAUSE THIS IS A LEAVE IN TREATMENT THAT ALSO STYLES YOUR HAIR!

I told my mum I really feel like a mermaid today, mostly because of the ocean colours in my hair, but also mostly because of my sweet as beach waves.

The best thing is you don't have to go out a buy another curl enhancing product, because you already have it on your shower floor.