Twitterpated (adj.)

 Let's be clear; I don't hate relationships. I see their value and they can be fun. I would hate for people to start labelling me as the Scrooge of Togetherness, and to prove it, I wanted to write some thing nice.

I love the first moments of a crush. There is something so thrilling about limerence, something intoxicating that makes us do such foolish things.

limerence |ˈlimərəns| noun Psychology

the state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person, typically experienced involuntarily and characterized by a strong desire for reciprocation of one's feelings.

It's this sensation that keeps us awake at night wondering what that person is thinking, dreaming of the first kiss, planning names for children, trawling through every post and photo on Facebook, begging the Fates that they feel the same. No matter your age, it can make you feel like everyday is Christmas Eve. It can make you forget your basic human needs like food and sleep, because, as the Beatles taught us long ago; "all you need is love."

I can't tell you the number of times I have sent messages in the middle of the night, to my best friend half a world away that follow this blueprint;

    "So we have been talking all day. I wasn't even hungry today, and even after I spent ten minutes making lunch for myself, I only got through a single rice cracker with Vegemite and cream cheese before deciding I wasn't actually hungry… I can't calm myself down enough to turn off my lights for bed, and I'm imaging scenarios of us seeing each other again… and I'm shaking like a chihuahua and my tummy is all fluttery. Paige, I think I like this guy?"
     (accompanied by pictures like this)

Then she will say something like… "oooo yay!!", I'll talk about my plans to marry him. She keeps her thoughts of my insanity to her self… and then something terrible happens. Crippling self doubt sets in;

     "Am I playing it wrong? Creepy is the only way I know how to play!"

Paige says something to calm me down, my confidence comes back up to a billion and a quick succession of texts are sent from my phone;

    "SEE HOW PERFECT IT IS! I stretched out in a sweeping motion across the bed as I said that."
    "It was very Julie Andrews esque."
    "Paige! I wish I could marry you, it would be so much easier..."
    "That should have been a comma."
    "Why am I so amped up! Damn you baby making hormones making me into some kind of woman."

It really is such a magical time of life, and I hope you enjoy every thrilling moment of it. Just remember to not take yourself too seriously or you may end up regretting all the fun you missed out on.

twitterpated (adj.) 
    1942, apparently first attested in the Walt Disney movie "Bambi" (there also was a song by that name but it was not in the studio release of the film), a past participle adjective formed from twitter + pate (n.2) "head" (cf. flutterpated, 1894).

Thumper: Why are they acting that way?
Friend Owl: Why, don't you know? They're twitterpated.
Flower, Bambi, Thumper: Twitterpated?
Friend Owl: Yes. Nearly everybody gets twitterpated in the springtime. For example: You're walking along, minding your own business. You're looking neither to the left, nor to the right, when all of a sudden you run smack into a pretty face. Woo-woo! You begin to get weak in the knees. Your head's in a whirl. And then you feel light as a feather, and before you know it, you're walking on air. And then you know what? You're knocked for a loop, and you completely lose your head!
Thumper: Gosh, that's awful.

As an end note, was I not born to pose in front of a camera?! Look at little me, knee popped, one hand on my hip the other behind my head, watch out Marilyn Monroe there is a new blonde bombshell in town. Let me also add that I was only wearing undies beneath that minnie mouse apron… what a hoochie I was.