Listen up ye who call yourselves men.

I had the chance to attend a ball this past week. It was one of the many obligations of studying law. Now while the whole night was certainly not a drag, I feel it my my moral obligation to share something with the world, the male of the species in particular.

When courting a woman, there are things you should do, and others that you should very definitely avoid. I spent the night watching my friend get hit on and honestly I wish I could have pulled the guy aside and given him a few pointers. So however belated this conversation may be here it is...

1. My first rule straight up has to be; cool it with the alcohol. I know it may shock you, but women are actually intelligent now days. If you want to converse with us, you will need your wits about you. You may be well endowed in the mental department, but I promise you, you are going to want to hang on to some of those smarts when talking to a lady. I know, you think you need a little liquid courage, but please keep it to a minimum. We women aren't all that scary, we LOVE talking, so please feel confident in the promise that we will talk to you.

2. Don't Brag. You may be best friends with the Sultan, you may have played a super rich people's game of croquet, and then flown your own jet to get to this party, you may be James Bond, but surprise us, let us find out these things on our own. Every chick flick has a woman fall in love with a man, and then we find out just how much of a catch he really is. There is so much more to you than the stats on the back of your rookie card. Be impressive, but try a little humility.

3. "But what should I talk about?" ASK QUESTIONS. I told you, women love talking. We talk even when there is no one there listening to us. We can carry a conversation by ourselves. I often break out into monologue. I think most women like to feel listened to, appreciated, and understood. Don't worry if you don't think you can do any of these things. If you ask us a few questions and let us go, we will assume you are doing all of these things.

4. This is something I watched this guy do extremely well; acknowledge her friends, at the end of the night they may be your biggest advocates. Women will always hold council after a night out, and it will be the friends who decide who is worthy. I had drinks poured for me without even asking. I was part of the conversation. Not a big part mind you, but enough that I didn't feel like he had stolen my friend.

All in all he didn't do too bad but a few generals that never fail;

5. Confidence, well a comfortable confidence, be careful not to be too braggie remember.

6. Don't stick around for too long, go and work the room for a little bit, then come back and pick things back up. It will make a girl think you couldn't keep your mind off her. She will think she is the most interesting person in the room.

7. Know when you have lost. Girls will fidget mindlessly, start looking the other way, and her responses will get shorter and shorter. All of these are signs to get out of there, and quick.