Resident Sicko goes to Hospital Part 3 Testing and Patience

Straight up anyone who has complained about hospital food should try being admitted for a digestive problem and see how they like the menu... Three words for you;

          CLEAR FLUIDS DIET

Another three words; NOT A FAN.

For the first three days of my incarceration I was feed nothing but consommé (chicken stick in hot water), jelly, and apple juice. Add to that the amount times I was 'nil by mouth' for my various tests, I was not a happy hospitaler.

That's not to say I spent the whole time moping and begrudging my lot, in fact for the first two days I was happy to comply with anything the doctors and nurses saw free to inflict, but no food and no answers makes Marley an angry boy.

I feel really bad about the way I acted on that third day, and I apologise for acting like a snarky brat, but by that point, I had been in continuous pain, I had fasted more times than a buddhist monk, and every test that was performed came back clear. There was no sign behind what was causing my pain.

I realise now that it was a miracle in itself that I was kept in the hospital for so long. I would have expected after the first test to be sent home with some pain killers and condescending smile, but for some reason I was blessed with a doctor that was just as interested in solving riddles as I am.

I'm ashamed to admit, that I used my female powers of persuasion and cried at everyone that day, and I'm sorry men, but if you stopped falling for it, we probably wouldn't play that card so often. You may think I should have held out for more, but that first breakfast was the greatest meal I have ever eaten. (I should have made an effort to make the picture nicer to look at, but honestly I'm surprised I waited long enough to photograph it. And it also bears witness to the level of boredom I reached, those blue hands in the background kept me very entertained, and provided a substitute for human contact.)


All in all, those few days spent waiting did bless me. I am terribly impatient and I needed to learn the art of watching cars pass on a freeway. I even was blessed to have my sister wash and blow dry my hair, which I very much grateful for. A hospital is not a place where one usually feels pretty, but I did that day. My spirits rose, and I know you may think I'm vain for saying that, but honestly I don't care. Any thing that helps you feel like a regular human being again is worth it. (...and the compliments I got also helped brighten my day)